


A Demon's Diary (don't tell anyone)

by tangerinespock



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angsty Crowley, Dumb Crowley, Heavy Angst, Just angst, Letters, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Unrequited Love, they have one brain cell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:23:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangerinespock/pseuds/tangerinespock
Summary: Crowley writes his first diary entry (he's not entirely proud of it so shut up please) and he starts it with describing his favourite angel, Aziraphale. Pretty angsty.





	A Demon's Diary (don't tell anyone)

****

He is so damn beautiful that I’d fall all over again, saunter vaguely downwards, just to see him if even only once.

He radiates a warmth I cannot begin to explain and it feels so different, almost incomparable to the sickening heat of Satan's burning Hell.

He always seems to scream safety whenever I see him. Maybe it's in Angel thing, like when his magnificent white wings cover you from the rain almost instinctively, engulfing you in a way that you have never experienced and with a love you had not felt before.

I love my angel’s wings.

They’re so bright, so pure and so freakishly innocent, just like him and so unlike me.

He’s a celestial being, an ethereal entity, so very godly in words and actions, and so very different than me.

My wings? Mine?

They’re so awfully dark, ash-black and dirtied, unbearably heavy. They’re so unworthy of him; I’m so unworthy of him that sometimes it makes me wish I never fell. But, then again, I wouldn’t have met him.

His eyes are so vividly blue and so incredibly soft at the same time it makes my heart beat faster and I don't even need this stupid human organ in the first place. It happens all the same.

Sometimes it makes me feel good, to be in love such a creature with such a beautiful, beautiful creation but, often, my heart beats too fast and it suddenly overwhelms me how much I, a-definitely not nice- demon, care for an angel and I hate it.

Yet here I am, next to him, feeling everything I ever wanted or dared to feel, and everything I fell for is here, in him.

I guess I can never really hate that I fell even if I can't have him. Although he’s as stupid and naïve as they come, I’m pretty sure he’s not enough of a moron to fall for me. And even if he did, he'd never leave, he’d never pick me, a demon and a fallen angel, in place of our God.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading and I'd very much appreciate any feedback!


End file.
